Beer Can Turkey
by RollinsInTheDean
Summary: All Cowboy James Storm wanted was a beer. Was that too much to ask? What happens when he has to drink the only can of beer in the house, the one in the turkey? One thing is for sure, sorry about his damn luck.


This came to me from out of nowhere. Happy Thanksgiving everybody! I only own Jayden, Ajay Marie, Riley, Bailey, and Carrie. Ajay and Joey belong to Kennedy's Friday Night Delight and Anna belongs to SlaveToPetey.

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**Beer Can Turkey**

"Happy Thanksgiving everybody," Carrie, Bailey's mother said walking into her daughter and son-in-law's house.

"Happy Thanksgiving mom," Petey said giving her a hug.

"Where are my grandbabies?"

"Riley is in the living room with Alex, Jayden and Ajay Marie are in the living room in the playpen."

"GRANDMA," Riley said running down the steps with Alex following her.

"Happy Thanksgiving Patrick," Carrie said to Alex.

"Thanks Carrie you too," Alex smiled.

"CHRISTMAS IS COMING! I AM GETTING FAT! WHERE THE HELL IS THE GOD DANG BEER AT," Cowboy James Storm sang walking into the house followed by Petey's sister Anna.

"UNCLE JAMES," Riley said jumping out of Carrie's arms into James' arms.

"Where's the beer," James asked.

"We didn't buy any," Bailey said.

"What, why the hell would you do such a thing like that," James asked again.

"We ran out of money and since the babies are here, we are on a tight budget," Petey replied.

"Ah bullshit," James cursed, "Ya'll are professional wrestlers with all the God dang money in the world."

"Fine Ajay and Alex drank it all last night and we had one can left to make a beer can turkey," Bailey admitted.

"Wwwhat," James blubbered.

"They are outside with Chris right now putting the turkey on the grill before they put it in the fryer," Petey said trying not to laugh at James' facial expression.

His facial expression was a cross between someone about to cry and a little kid doing a puppy dog face.

"Why the hell would you stick a damn beer up the ass of a turkey," James pouted.

"Because it gives it a good flavor," Alex said coming in from the patio.

"This is not fair," James whined, "What have I ever done to you?"

"Uh guys," Ajay said coming into the house holding a black cord, "The turkey fryer cord is broke."

"SHIT," Petey cursed, "Just throw it in the oven then."

"Are you sure," Chris asked, "I can always drive to WalMart and buy a fryer."

"Yeah, the oven is fine," Petey replied.

"I'll get the baking pan," Bailey said picking up the crying Ajay Marie and walked downstairs to the game room into the storage room to get the roasting pan.

"How long has the turkey been on the grill," James asked.

"It is almost fully cooked," Chris replied, "We are going to finish cooking it in the oven."

"Is it hot," James asked again.

"Yeah it's hot, what the hell," Alex laughed, "Are you that hungry."

"I'm starvin'," James said patting his stomach.

"Here's the pan," Bailey said coming up the steps from the basement, "How about you four go watch the game while Anna, Ajay, my mom and I finish dinner."

"Are you sure," Petey asked taking Ajay Marie from Bailey, "Yeah I'm sure, just watch the kids."

"We can do that" Chris smiled as Joey ran downstairs with Riley and into the living room. James picked up Jayden and sat down on the chair holding him.

The turkey was still on the grill and the women were still in the kitchen cooking the rest of the meal when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Chris said standing up and going over to the door to answer it.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Robert Roode said shaking Chris' hand walking into the house.

"Chris where's Mackenzie," Ajay asked her husband.

"She's still upstairs sleeping," Chris replied.

"Okay," Ajay smiled giving him a kiss before she gave Bobby a hug, "Happy Thanksgiving Papa Bear."

"You too Baby Bear," he smiled.

"Where did James go," Petey asked suddenly noticing that James was nowhere in sight and Alex was now holding Jayden.

"He said that he had to go take a piss," Alex replied.

"Oh okay," Petey said, "I thought he might have went outside to steal the beer out of the turkey."

"MOTHERFUCKER," everyone heard James yell from outside.

"I bet any money he drank the damn beer," Alex said causing everyone to laugh.

"If he did, I will kill him. I want beer too," Jess said coming in the house since Bobby let her in.

"JAMES," Bailey shouted when she walked outside and saw James squirting his tongue with the garden hose.

"What the hell happened," Ajay asked.

"I tried to drink the hot beer from the turkey and I burnt my tongue," James said.

Bobby Roode rolled his eyes, "You're an idiot," he said to James who pointed the hose in his direction.

"Give me some of that hot beer," Jess said taking a swig, "EW THAT IS NASTY."

"Tasted pretty damn good to me," James joked, "Then again I burnt my tongue and can't feel a damn thing."

"You really are an idiot," Bailey huffed walking into the house followed by Alex, Ajay, and Chris who were laughing their asses off at James.

"What happened," Carrie asked her daughter when she came back into the house.

"James drank the beer out of the turkey's ass and burnt his tongue," Bailey laughed.

"WOW, is all I can say," Carrie laughed.

"If you would have bought beer then I wouldn't have to drink the damn can out of the turkey's ass," James said coming into the house.

"Bailey do you have any ice," Bobby Roode asked.

"Yeah it is in the freezer," Bailey pointed and Bobby pulled James over to the freezer.

"Five bucks says he has ice on his tongue all throughout dinner," Alex joked.

"Will you stop saying that," Ajay said smacking him upside his head.

"OW WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR," Alex asked rubbing his head.

"Five bucks says you're an idiot," Bailey laughed.

"Carrie your daughter is a bitch," Alex smiled.

"Yeah, well she is my bitch which makes me mama bitch," Carrie laughed.

"Which makes you a dick," Petey smirked at Alex who flipped him off.

"Alright, mom the timer went off for the turkey," Bailey said hearing the ding, "Everyone go in the dining room while we get things ready. We will be in, in one minute."

"Alright," Petey said giving her a kiss before he walked into the dining room followed by Ajay, Alex, Chris, Bobby and James.

"Who wants to say grace," Bailey asked when her and Carrie finally sat down to eat with the others.

"Alex's grace last year was the best one I've heard," Ajay said, "How about he does it again?"

"I'll say it," Petey volunteered.

"Thanks Pan," Ajay smiled.

"I'm thankful my wife and three kids, all of us being here and for each and every single one of us being here to celebrate Thanksgiving together for another year. Thank you for the food we are about to eat. Amen," Petey prayed.

"Amen," everyone said in unison.

James had ice in a towel and was holding it on his tongue, he tried to eat his dinner but his tongue wasn't having it.

"James would you like some jello," Alex joked waving the red cube in front of his face.

"Screw you," James said flipping him off.

"Sorry about your damn luck," Riley and Joey both said in unison causing the whole table to laugh.

"Remind me never again to drink the damn beer out of the ass of a beer can turkey," James said laughing.

"Happy Thanksgiving Cowboy," Jess(ODB) said raising her flask.

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It sounded better in my head. Please read and review.


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